One of the most joyous, empowering feelings in the world is to feel truly seen and understood by another person. Conversely, believing that we are ignored, underestimated or misunderstood can sap our energy and shut us down. Every one of us has the ability to energize and empower the people around us, or to deny and discourage them.

Wearing the Coach's hat reminds us that we can play a role in bringing out the best in everyone we encounter. The view from this perspective is one of possibilities to be encouraged and nurtured. The wisdom of this hat is to be aware of the big game plan and understand the part each individual plays.

Try on the Coach's hat when

• Rigid rules and policies are getting in the way of innovation and progress
• A single approach isn't solving the problem
• Your instructions to your kids, your employees, your spouse or your boss aren't doing the trick
• Other people's mistakes are bringing out your inner control freak

The Coach's hat reminds us to talk less and listen more, to respond to what is happening in the moment, to take a fluid approach to working with people, and to provide the information and feedback that allow others to discover and develop their strengths.

Many find that no hat in the deck has more magic than this humble cap. Watch how it makes the people around you look good, and feel how much warmth it creates for you. <

In many sports, stats give the coaches and players clues about key areas for improvement. For example, in basketball a guard might care most about number of shots, steals and assists while a power forward might care most about rebounds, assists and shots. Do you know what three areas matter most to improve your playing of whatever game you are in?

For example, number of walks per week, sales calls per week, and percentage of returned calls might be the 3 key areas for a salesperson in a high-stress, fast-paced environment.

This month try identifying 3 key areas that are easily measured and then track your stats.

"If you make every game a life and death proposition, you're going to have problems. For one thing, you'll be dead a lot." Dean Smith

"Coaches have to watch for what they don't want to see and listen to what they don't want to hear." John Madden

"The man who complains about the way the ball bounces is likely the one who dropped it." Lou Holtz

"Leadership is getting someone to do what they don't want to do, to achieve what they want to achieve." Tom Landry