The Love-Hat Relationship
by Aaron Belz

"We all come to this meeting wearing many hats; playing many roles. I'll bet there are many of you who come to this meeting with many ideas, questions and concerns. Let's get our heads on straight while we get to know one another a bit better. You'll see a pile of cards with drawing of hats on them. Please select the hat that best represents the spirit, energy and perspective you'd like to bring to this meeting as we discern what's next for this team. Then each of you will have 30 seconds to tell us your name, the many hats you wear and briefly why you chose the hat that you did."

I modeled what I would have them do so they got a sense of what the round of intros would look like. I gave them about 2 minutes to find a card and think about their intro. Then the fun and laughter began....

The anticipation and stress were almost palpable.

We started the meeting talking about all the roles they play and the importance of showing up to at this meeting with a "hattitude" that would help them be great ambassadors for the strategic plan team. Each person picked a hat from the One Hat At A Time deck and shared the hat and the why with the group as a whole.

There were several coach hats to keep the focus on everyone getting equipped to get in the game, several high-risk hats (cowboy, parachute, firefighter) that acknowledged the thrill, danger and risk in doing something new. Some chose the artist's beret as a reminder of the powerful force of co-creation. Still others chose  astronaught/diving hats to emphasize the thrill and history-making opportunity that comes with exploration of new terrains.

The next time you show up to a big opportunity, choose your hattitude with intention!

• Is there something like a thorn to stem ratio built into my DNA?
• Are my defense mechanisms organic and triggered by growth?
• Or are they triggered by something else (e.g., fear, loss of control, etc.)?

Intuitive impulses that warn us of danger or make us suspicious are an example of one kind of organic human defense mechanism. This wariness can help us mitigate threats by crafting new solutions or it can shut us off from possibility. Sometimes our intuitive sense tells us to avoid the very situations where our next lessons and breakthroughs lie.

If you are facing a decision and one choice seems to send up intuitive red flags, ask: What would it take for me to say "yes"? Collect these answers and watch some new possibilities emerge which allow you to smell the roses without getting pricked too badly by the thorns.

Until then, I've decided to provide information and food for thought in this space. Please let me know if you receive any junk mail from (nonsense)@onehatatime.com from this time and date forward.

Thanks for your understanding and patience!

We wish you a season of peace and wonder as we prepare ourselves for another new year.

Play on!

When Holidays Become Horrid Days, Change Your Hat!

When the holiday season finds you overwhelmed and out of sorts, the best gift of all might be a new hat.

No, we're not talking about keeping your ears warm. The hats that can help keep you sane and even jolly are perspectives that are always available to you.

Your list of to-do's makes you feel like jumping off a cliff? Try putting on a climber's hat and focus on finding your next foothold. Even though the terrain looks tricky, one pull at a time will get you through it.

Too many out-of-the-ordinary demands on your time and energy? Control the chaos by calling on your inner police officer. What rules and boundaries do you need to maintain and uphold to keep yourself from climbing the walls?

Dissatisfied that what you've planned and bought doesn't seem like enough? The chef's lofty hat reminds you that you have the power to transform the mundane into the magnificent. How can you personalize, spice up and present whatever you have to give this season, so as to create wonderful moments and memories?

Feeling that family togetherness is overrated? When the behavior of the kids or the in- laws or your sister is driving you round the bend, shine up your trusty halo. Step into the light, where you can see past the irritating trait. How you can infuse the situation with some positive energy? What petty stuff is getting in the way of living each hour to the fullest?

A little blue because the season seems like all work and no wonderment? Go for the beanie with the propeller on top. Let go of having to make it "right" and approach every situation as if it was brand new. Ask how, why and what if. Allow yourself to be amazed.

The Farmer's perspective is one of operating in sync with nature and natural laws. Wearing this hat, we know that the tomatoes won't ripen until July no matter when we put the plants in. From this point of view, we understand that we need to cultivate the soil, or nothing will grow well.

Reach for the Farmer's hat when:

• You're trying to rush something into bearing fruit, when it may need time to develop roots underground.
• You're seeing projects -- and even people -- as objects to managed and maneuvered, instead of as living, growing entities.
• You're trying to control it all, when you need to remember that not everything is in your control.
• You feel like you are fighting to make things happen or your environment isn't supporting the results you really want.

Compared to a century ago, very few people today are fulltime farmers. Yet the more speeded up and stressed out we become, the more we need the wisdom that tells us that we and our work are deeply entwined with our environment. The more time we spend in front of screens, the more we need the deep refreshment of seasonal change and variety. The more we strive to do too many things at once, the more we need to discern, what is it time for?

It may be time to be grounded and grateful.

Whatever your tradition, wherever you call home, Happy Thanksgiving

Container Gardening

Are you feeling like your life resembles a jungle more than a garden? Do you feel like the weeds and vines are winning? Whether your weeds come in the form of emails, papers, emergencies or errands we'd like to share a secret for creating gardens that flourish.

1. Define containers for the top roles you play. Too often we allow our roles to smear together which allows plenty of room for weeds. Start by identifying those roles that are most important and that would benefit from intentional gardening. The container is defined by purpose (what am I seeking to create in this role) and time (how many hours a week do I want/need to devote to this purpose?) My favorite hats for this task include the captain's hat and the royal crown

2. Transplant only the important things first. Now that you've defined your containers, it is time to make some decisions about what to put in it. Some find it useful to don the surgeon's cap or the detectives hat at this stage to help keep the "shoulds" out of the picture.

3. Farm one container at a time. Lots of stress and dropped balls happen in the juggling act otherwise known as multitasking. Strap on the mountain climber's hat or the miner's hat to help keep focus on the task at hand.

4. Celebrate progress. Put on the beanie or artist's beret to help savor each stage for what it is instead of dwelling on how far away from the ultimate objective it is. Have you ever rejoiced in uncovering a gorgeous plant after an hour of weeding or do you tend to be frustrated with the weeds that remain? Put on the party hat or graduation hat and celebrate what you've accomplished.

One of the best things about container gardens is that you can move them around to adjust the amount of light they are getting AND there is very little room for weeds! One Hat At A Time momentum cards can help assist you with container gardening and much more.

Play on!

...They Will Come

No wonder Bob the Builder is such a hit with the sandbox set. The Construction hat is down-to-earth, action-oriented headgear that makes things happen. This is the perspective that gets visions and plans out of our heads and into the larger world. It's the can-do attitude and practical skill we call on to fix problems, create new structures, and implement change.

Wearing your hard hat, you'll often notice that before you can build something new it may be necessary to demolish what is already in that space. Or -- as this truth is sometimes expressed -- the forgetting curve can be equally as important as the learning curve.

What structure are you ready to strengthen? Your yellow hard hat provides a constructive point of view when:

• You're resolved to remodel your career, your business and/or your life
• You're rolling up your sleeves to tear down some walls (or constricting compartments or obstructive boundaries)
• You are fearful about the fallout from some action you have taken, or are about to take.
• You've fiddled enough with the blueprint, and now it's time to develop the product, write the book, tackle the project or launch the business.

Don't forget that your Construction hat has a protective function that enables you to venture out amongst the debris. Your hard hat can give you a healthy take on destructive forces and potentially devastating setbacks. Your inner builder knows that fires and hurricanes happen, and that "why me?" is not a useful response. Grab your tools and get out there. See what's solidly standing, and go from there.

What's In Your Toolbox?

Ever notice what happens when someone gets a hold of a really neat tool? They try and use it as often as possible (thus the expression: whenever you have a hammer, everything looks like a nail). Perspectives and tactical approaches can fall into the same trap.

Do you have all the tools that you need to do your craft? What tools in your toolbox are in need of sharpening? What tools are being over-used? What tools do you wish you knew how to use more effectively? One Hat At A Time momentum cards contain a collection of perpectives that help individuals expand their toolboxes effortlessly.

Take our 27-day tool-sharpening challenge:

1. Shuffle your deck of One Hat At A Time momentum cards.
2. Place these cards on your nightstand or dresser.
3. Upon waking draw a card from the top of the pile.
4. Take 10 minutes to read the back of the card and reflect on all the shifts it represents for you (if you journal, you may want to journal on these shifts at the beginning and/or end of your day).
5. "Wear" the hat all day; apply the perspective shifts as you go about your tasks.
6. At the end of the day, "take off" the hat and put the card on the bottom of the deck.
7. Repeat the process, drawing a new card each day.

By the end of 27 days you will not only have sharpened up your tools but probably discovered some new ones you didn't even know that you had.

This month's focus is on the inner Coach, that aspect of yourself that can energize and empower the people around you and create synergy wherever you go. Each month we seek to provide tips and special offers to help you make the most of all the hats you wear.

Way to Go!

One of the most joyous, empowering feelings in the world is to feel truly seen and understood by another person. Conversely, believing that we are ignored, underestimated or misunderstood can sap our energy and shut us down. Every one of us has the ability to energize and empower the people around us, or to deny and discourage them.

Wearing the Coach's hat reminds us that we can play a role in bringing out the best in everyone we encounter. The view from this perspective is one of possibilities to be encouraged and nurtured. The wisdom of this hat is to be aware of the big game plan and understand the part each individual plays.

Try on the Coach's hat when

• Rigid rules and policies are getting in the way of innovation and progress
• A single approach isn't solving the problem
• Your instructions to your kids, your employees, your spouse or your boss aren't doing the trick
• Other people's mistakes are bringing out your inner control freak

The Coach's hat reminds us to talk less and listen more, to respond to what is happening in the moment, to take a fluid approach to working with people, and to provide the information and feedback that allow others to discover and develop their strengths.

Many find that no hat in the deck has more magic than this humble cap. Watch how it makes the people around you look good, and feel how much warmth it creates for you

Track your stats

 In many sports, stats give the coaches and players clues about key areas for improvement. For example, in basketball a guard might care most about number of shots, steals and assists while a power forward might care most about rebounds, assists and shots. Do you know what three areas matter most to improve your playing of whatever game you are in?

For example, number of walks per week, sales calls per week, and percentage of returned calls might be the 3 key areas for a salesperson in a high-stress, fast-paced environment.

This month try identifying 3 key areas that are easily measured and then track your stats.

The Chef's tall white hat is a good one to try on when:

• You're in a rut, and what you have to work with looks ordinary and uninteresting
• You've reached a state of mastery, so that you barely notice what you're doing, and the work seems humdrum and "ho-hum."
• You're taking the important people in your life for granted.
• You know what you want to make happen, but you're waiting until you have all the right ingredients.

Potatoes, eggs, lemons, flour - simple in themselves, yet capable of appearing in endless delicious guises. What are the ingredients you have at hand? How can you combine them, cook them, and present them to make a satisfying dish?

Are you focusing only on the calories and carbs? Measurements and abstract qualities have their place, but what do your senses tell you? How would paying attention to the sight, aroma, and taste of the ordinary elements of your life change the way you experience your work, your home, your relationships?

Are you worried about making mistakes or blaming yourself for having messed up a procedure? Why couldn't that goof become a funny family story, an indelible learning, the accidental beginning of something new and wonderful?

Do you feel you have to do it by the book or resent having to do it by the book? What if the recipe is just somebody else's experience, waiting for you to embellish with your own unique touches?

Look around and see the makings of a feast. Bon Appetit!

Personal Success Recipe Contest

In honor of your inner Chef, please send us your unique recipe for success. We'll publish all winning recipes in the next issue and the Grand Prize winner will be awarded a $15 gift certificate for the Hat Shop at www.onehatatatime.com. Here's one to get your creative juices flowing:

Recipe for Personal Magnificence
1 part Leveraging personal strengths and gifts
1 part Accepting and letting go of non- strengths
1 part Inspiring goal
1 part Big vision of personal possibility
1 part Seeing what you already have before you
1 part Choosing wisely from what you have before you
4 parts Willingness to act without complete certainty
6 parts Gratitude for ALL you have
12 parts Selecting the hattitude that will act as a leavening agent

Instructions

1. Combine ingredients together gently, tasting as you go. Adjust seasoning to taste.
2. Mix together with strong belief in the outcome.
3. Sprinkle with additional hattitudes as desired. Flavor will continue to deepen.
4. Continue to stir with thoughts, words and actions for best results.

Yield: Unlimited servings